Mental well-being is not achieved in a vacuum. Your social network, family relationships and support can contribute to it in both positive and negative ways. Support you receive from both family and friends may come in a variety of forms from emotional support to physical (often financial) assistance and a shoulder to lean on, particularly at times of bereavement and grief (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022). Social support from family members and friends, alongside help from professionals, work together. Having a family member or friend as a ‘sounding board’ for what you bring away from a professional, can help you to think through and disseminate information and approaches that your counsellor has given you to improve your mental state (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022).
Professional and informal helping relationships cover functions in different ways to maintain good mental health. They share communication and active listening but turn these into tools differently. The two different types of help are centred around active listening (listen, repeat, listen, repeat and so on), a non-judgemental attitude (listening with an unbiased ear) and discussions, which contribute to change that is facilitated by understanding (Ragins & Cotton, 1999). However, within formal helping the relationship and communication is more targeted by practitioners than with informal (family and friends) where language may be unfiltered and spontaneous (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022).
Informal helpers, your family and friends and sometimes even a stranger on a bus, may serve a broader array of functions than professional counsellors do. The difference between the two types of help is conspicuous in its concerns with emotional bonds, reciprocal sharing and companionship. Family members and friends are often tied to fun and shared activities that are at the centre of relationships that are often symmetrical and reciprocal, thus eliminating any professional hierarchy (Ragins & Cotton, 1999). For many people seeking help, having a shoulder to lean on is less daunting than approaching a professional service for help. However, it is important to be able to recognise and take advice on making contact with a professional service when the circumstances are beyond a friendly chat (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022).
There are three main differences in the formats of formal and informal help (Winefield, 1987) Firstly, in attachment, professionals will keep an emotional distance that allows the client to feel safe and confident in sharing and reflecting through the discourse of rehabilitation (Ragins & Cotton, 1999). A key to professional conduct is the distinct boundary between sympathy and empathy. Secondly, we look at the ability to interpret the discourse offered by the client as a basis for facilitating appropriate techniques, interventions and tools on the journey to healthy mental well-being (Winefield, 1987). The third difference between informal and formal helping is that professionals have chosen to become helpers of people looking for mental balance (Winefield, 1987). The help provided by professionals is often more considered therapeutic and deliberate.
Do you have someone you talk to? Listen to? Do you know where to get a shoulder to lean on? Sometimes a stranger on a bus is easy to talk to, easy to listen to, how about you?
References
Lauzier-Jobin, F., & Houle, J. A. (2022). A comparison of formal and informal help in the context of mental health recovery. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 68(4), 729-737. doi:10.1177/00207640211004988
Ragins, B. R., & Cotton, J. L. (1999). Mentor Functions and Outcomes: A Comparison of Men and Women in Formal and Informal Mentoring Relationships. Journal of Applied Psychology, 84(4), 529-550. doi:10.1037/0021-9010.84.4.529
Winefield, H. R. (1987). Psychotherapy and social support: Parallels and differences in the helping process. Clinical Psychology Review, 7(6), 631-644.
